I’m a bit drunk….me and Debbie ended up going to some Cuban bar for happy hour as we’re both self-proclaimed ‘cash watchers’ so I have a bit of a headache right now. But OH MY GOD. I have had the best day ever.
Podcast Pilot with Melody Coleman
We recorded the pilot for my new podcast today. It was with Melody Coleman of The Body Project Personal Training. IT WAS SO FUN AND INTERESTING. She works for herself and caters to the individual needs of people who want to get fit and she can do so remotely. She also works with the reasoning behind exercising, delves into the mindset of her clients and helps create a healthy mind as well as body – which is so important to maintain this healthy lifestyle. She does retreats, personal training sessions, videos, blogs and holds talks. This woman is just #BOSSIN her life right now in her own way; she’s doing something she loves whilst helping people. She fell into this, not on purpose. It wasn’t all this easy. I actually know her from school and I saw how she struggled with her identity all through it. I saw how hard it was not being accepted as being ‘different’. I was always different but I Was different on the inside; I learned to conform on the outside and waded my way through life.
We’re all taught to conform at a very young age by enrolling into the education system, abiding by rules and having our future set out; get an education, get a job, work for someone else, find love, buy a house, get married and have babies. This is THE only life that everyone knows. Anything that deviates is perceived as abnormal and as teenagers, with RAGING hormones we’re not allowed to explore our own identities. It’s a natural instinct to rebel at that age I totally get it.
Anyways, our podcast didn’t really highlight in-depth discussions of those views but it did highlight a lot of things like: identity, seeing who we are in the eyes of other people, the importance of failing, finding our own path, seeing struggle as a continuous thing, not as something you overcome and just so many more interesting topics.
To be honest, I was terrified to do this podcast. I was EXCITED but very anxious and worried I was going to be annoying, too loud, too overpowering or I wouldn’t get Mel’s point across OR have any point at all. But she was professional, humorous, articulate yet personable and it all came across so so well. Doing something like this gave me a sense of fulfilment of reaching out, telling someone’s story and showing the world we all have issues, we all work with them in our own ways, we all fail, we all pick ourselves back up learn and we all have the potential to do something we want and love. WE ALL HAVE THE POWER TO BE OURSELVES!. It makes me love my life. It makes me love who I am because I just… enjoy it. I enjoy everything I do.
Isle Of Dogs Exhibition @ 180 The Strand
That new animation is coming out by Wes Anderson. Debs wanted to meet up today and so I saw her after my podcast sesh. We went to the Isle of Dogs exhibition at The Store X. It wasn’t AS amazing as Timeout made it out to be. I mean it was good; I loved all the original sets of the stop-start animation and the ramen bar was cool but I was hoping that they showed behind the scenes of the making, not just the set? I love seeing the ‘working progress’ not just the final outcome. I’m all about the journey these days LOL
After, we grabbed a few tinnies from Sainsbury’s and headed to Southbank to just chill and chat about life. I love Debs she’s such an interesting person. She, like me, just does 10001 things and we both have similar backgrounds and we’re from the same area. As much as I like to say I can get along with ANYONE and anyone despite their culture, background, upbringing etc… there’s always that close bond with someone who’s had it similar.. Whether it be financial circumstances or similarly strict overbearing but dismissive parents it makes us connect through individual experiences (not just surface level interests like movies, films) and, in a way, you feel less alone and isolated.
We spoke about what we’re up to, her girlfriend, my ex, our crazily different careers, our families, friends and just about anything and everything. It was nice catching up. I wanted to go House of Vans because it was getting a bit chilli outside but it was shut so we walked down the deserted high street nearby and found this Cuban bar… it was pretty jokes and they had happy hour. We got a few cocktails in and had the BIGGEST in-depth discussion about our futures. I love Debs. I’m definitely getting her onto my next podcast. She’s flying off in 2 weeks to L.A. She’s a drummer and she’s been signed to a reality T.V show deal soon to air on Netflix. She was telling me about all her doubts, fears and worries about the potential to be a complete FLOP or something absolutely FUCKING MASSIVE. I can totally get that – I’d be terrified too. I fooken hate public speaking so the idea of being captured on TV saying accidentally offensive shit is my worst nightmare. She must be so shook. Nevertheless, I’m super excited for her. I hope it hits off.
Both of my friends I saw had issues with identity. We’ve always been drawn together our entire lives because I have also struggled with the exact same thing. I’m not as verbal about it because I never realised until now.
They both didn’t want to be known for that “one” thing people saw them as. We are more than our skills, we are more than our intelligence, we are more than how we look, we are more than our interests, we are so much more because there will never be ‘enough’ that we can be because we are actually nothing. That’s why we, including me, have this insatiable need to rebel. To break the mould to not be that person people think we are. I’ve had this my entire life. It’s become so automatic that I do it without realising. I play devils advocate but by nature. To surprise and shock people because I also hate people thinking I am who I am because of how I act or how I look. My ex-boyfriend had the same feeling. It’s that feeling of not belonging because NO ONE should belong to anything. The feeling of not belonging can essentially BRING US together and be the thing we can relate to each other through. We are just us just living and being. External things cannot define us, our thoughts do not define us because these things can change daily. That’s maybe why we all suffer as the human race. It’s suffocating.. it’s just not natural. I’ve decided I want my podcast to perhaps be about identity and why it isn’t as important as we think it is. It’s what limits our capabilities. We are impermanent, we are adaptable WE ARE WHO WE ARE RIGHT NOW not yesterday not tomorroww- right NOW.
So my period is finally over. It’s always that shit that makes me hate life now I’m nearly free of it. Life is amazing as per usual. It’s weird how it always emphasises minor things I’m anxious about and turns them into the BIGGEST CRAZY ASS dramatic issue in my life. In reality, I barely have issues in my life. Life is just something I coast. Life is something I enjoy. Life gives me every single thing I could possibly ever want without even offering anything in return. Me and my selfish life.