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As some of you may know I’ve been studying a Masters Degree in Computer Science for the past 6 months.

The initial plan was to re-route my career path towards something more development/techy like Data Analytics/Science or Software Engineering.

…now, I’m having second thoughts.

I’ve starting to rethink the meaning of career, work and having a job and what do I really want in life? What is it that makes me happy or content?

Why did I want a career in development? Why am I doing a masters?

I wanted to build on technical skills and understand the building blocks of how the internet and computers work. I wanted to develop a computational mindset to solve problems. I wanted to learn at my own pace and gradually gain the skills to combine with design to build what ever I want.

I didn’t feel like I had the skills to freely bring my ideas to life and it’s been hard to start projects and learn from that as 1) online resources are very copy and pasta. 2) I have no idea how to even begin 3) I’m not confident in my skills 4) Laziness.

I’ve realised I care more about independence, creativity and life fulfilment than career progression. I want to do something that helps others.

What would I do if I could do anything I wanted to?

I would use my skills to build a product or service to aid mental health

What is more realistic?

Honestly? I want to do so many things but something that I feel is actually attainable is run WordPress Training Workshops.

I want to teach people how to build a website using WordPress. I believe it can build confidence or even help them start up a business. Imagine if you had the skills to just set up your own online business from the get-go. With WordPress, you can become a digital entrepreneur.

With WordPress, you can blog. With WordPress, you can set up your own little home in cyberspace. WordPress helped me overcome depression as a teenager as it created a hobby to focus on and to grow which boosted my self-esteem and increased my employability in my early 20s.

I live alone but I am never lonely, I get to learn new things every day, I get to write and process my thoughts and I get to do it all for free.

It’s just incredible. I really want to share the benefits with everyone!

Technically this solves my wanting to create something that promotes positive mental health and solves the problems of non-techie people who want to build websites.

I’m thinking of changing Madhat Girls to provide these workshops. But the name… it sounds like it’s aimed at just Women? Maybe if I focus marketing to Women but allow people from any background, gender, heritage, culture etc to join. But what do I believe in? I believe in inclusivity.

Maybe I will change the name to Madhat

But…I also want to study a phd.

This one I’m terrified about. I love researching and writing and getting lost in information but I’m scared it won’t be what I expect. I keep reading nightmarish personal accounts on Reddit of people having breakdowns and regretting their decision. Continuing my studying and researching will mean I will be ‘poor’ for the next 5 years but I just think..what is money without enjoyment?

I went to spend most of my day and my life doing things that I enjoy. What is the point of making more money? To be comfortable? To enjoy my life?

It is a luxury to find work in which you love that is rewarding and in line with your life mission but it isn’t impossible. They say it’s a millennial mindset to want to “work a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”.

But comfort, as found by Maslow, is just meeting our psychological needs; in my opinion, anything beyond that is a bonus.

All we need is love, water, shelter, food and clothing. I have all these things….right? Surely if I meet those needs I am free to spend time as I wish.

My dream is to build a product or solution to something that can help many people. I want to create something useful whether it be breakthrough research, workshops, a product or service or even work at a company with the same mission. I just want to live a life knowing I’ve used my skills to help in some way.

My ideal life is..

Basically, continue how I’m living now and work towards everything I said above but know that it won’t always turn out as expected.

In the next 5 years, I want to be running my Website Building Workshop business, working a couple of days a week to pay the bills, and then use my free time to build a product that helps people. DONE!

These are my dream goals. I’ll daydream about them every day until I get sick and finally put them into action until they come true.

Dreams can turn into reality right?

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